Jim, Edith Keeler must die

I finally killed my wife. I mean, I finally killed Frank's wife in my NaNo novel. It took me nearly 4 days to get through all of it, but I finally managed to waste the bitch. Of course, you have no idea what I'm talking about, so allow me to rewind and start at the beginning.

Back in October, when I was planning my NaNo, I decided that I would have to kill off Frank's wife Pam. It would get him and crazy Harlan alone in the house with poor Billie (Frank and Pam's little girl), leaving Billie with no one to protect her. It would also make her more sympathetic to Vangie, my protagonist and Frank's oldest daughter from a previous marriage. I created Pam with a variety of traits that I despise, and I figured when it was time to kill her, it would be an easy--if not an enjoyable--scene to write. Well, somewhere along the line I decided that I didn't hate Pam. So it took me forever to get to the place in the story where I'd have to kill her. I hit the 50K mark on the 15th, just as I'd planned, and everything seemed to be going well. The next step was writing Pam's death, and I just froze. It's just after midnight on the 19th, and I'm only at 54,888 words. I'm so off pace now, I'm not sure I can continue. And to make matters worse, my mother had a horrible day today. The neuropathy is driving her insane. This morning, she called and I went out to the house and sat with her for a few hours. And then she called me tonight all but screaming in agony. I have no idea how to handle this. I'm not a nurturing person. I feel like there's something a normal person would know to say or do to make her feel better, and I just don't know what that is. Yes, that's a completely irrational line of thought, but I can't help feeling it. I hate being so helpless. And why am I talking about this in my writing blog?

Anyway, I've gotten past one of the hard parts of my book. There's another right at the end, and I don't want to think too much about that right now. It's going to kill me to write it, but I'll just have to find a way. It's what I get for having such a twisted imagination.

Well, I have a writing war to wage. Blog at you later!

LxL